WHAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CLITORAL AND A VAGINAL ORGASM?
The clitoris (between the lips, at the top of the vulva) is
the only human organ solely dedicated to providing pleasure.
It has 8,000 nerve endings (twice as many as the penis). Because
of its sensitivity, stimulating it by rubbing, stroking, licking
is generally the quickest, easiest way to bring a woman to orgasm.
Vaginal orgasms are harder to achieve for women, and more likely
to happen if you're fully aroused (20 minutes of clitoral stimulation)
before penetration, and use a position that stimulates
puts pressure on the clitoris. The sensation is fuller, deeper,
diffused internal orgasm, as opposed to the tingling genital
orgasm.
WHAT
IS FEMALE EJACULATE?
A clear fluid some women expel through the urethra during orgasm.
It's always been associated with stimulation of the G-spot,
and is more likely in women with good pelvic muscle tone. It
may require a lot of internal and external stimulation, and
the quantity varies hugely: some women gush, others don't notice
it, Like urine, it comes through the urethra, so there's controversy
about whether it's urine or a fluid similar to male ejaculate,
Tests have shown that it is different in composition to urine.
It is thought to originate in the glands that surround the urethra,
with trace elements found in urine joining the mixture as it
passes through the urethra.
IS
THERE SUCH A THING AS THE G-SPOT?
We think so, but there's doubt about whether all women have
one or whether it exists at all. It was discovered in 1950 by
Ernst Grafenberg, who noted that part of the front inside wall
of the vagina swells during sexual stimulation, which relates
to an expulsion of fluid at the time of orgasm. In August 2001,
however, a report in the American Journal of Obstetrics and
Gynecology claimed that the G-spot is 'a sort of gynecological
UFO: much searched for, much discussed, but unverified by objective
means', To see if you have one, when you're aroused, insert
fingers two finger joints into your vagina then tap behind and
beneath your tummy button. If you find an area that's more sensitive
than the rest, pump it rhythmically and firmly. It can be awkward
to do it yourself, and it's more fun if someone else does it.
Misinformation and hype have made it another 'must-have' item
to add to the sexual shopping list, regardless of whether it's
any use, Many women experience G-spot arousal and orgasm for
years without being able to put a label on it. Whatever you
do, don't turn it into the Holy Grail and forget how much fun
everything else is.
HOW
DO I PREVENT MY BOYFRIEND LOSING HIS ERECTION WHEN HE PUTS ON
A CONDOM?
The best way to keep momentum is for you to put on the condom
with your mouth (use the flavoured ones: the others taste odd).
Just watching you apply a rubber with your lips should keep
him excited. Open the condom and unroll it a little. Hold the
rim between index finger and thumb. Open your lips into an O
shape and put the condom between them, with the teat facing
the back of your throat. Holding the penis at its base with
one hand, put your mouth over it, tighten your lips and push
firmly and slowly down over the penis, unrolling the condom
as you go.
HOW DO I PERSUADE HIM TO
GIVE ME ORAL SEX?
First, to receive you have to give. Then explain nicely how
much you enjoy him doing it and, if he's squeamish, make sure
you're squeaky clean. Once he's down there, getting him to stay
can be tricky. Men can lose erections while giving oral sex
as they're concentrating and the penis isn't being stimulated,
so he might stop before you'd like him to. Explain that it takes
up to half an hour for women to get aroused, and make appreciative
noises. And there's nothing like gripping him between your thighs.
HOW
DO I AVOID GAGGING WHEN I'M GIVING HIM ORAL SEX?
You need good technique and positioning. Put a hand at the
base of his penis to control his thrusting, and to act as
an extended mouth. The best positions keep mouth and throat
in line: crouch between his straddled legs. kneel over his penis
facing his feet or cheat and angle his penis to the side of
your mouth. Coordinate breaths with your movements, taking deep
breaths in at the top, releasing through the nose as you go
down. This will help you feel in control, too. Take breaks,
but carryon working his shaft with your hands.
MY
PARTNER WANTS ME TO TRY ANAL SEX WILL IT HURT?
Only try it if you're curious and not afraid to say no. Being
relaxed, trusting him and using lots of water-based lubrication
are key. Go slowly: he should stimulate your clitoris then insert
something small, like a finger. Your sphincter muscles will
contract, but, if you leave the finger there a minute or two,
you'll adjust to the sensation. When you get to the penis, use
lots of lubrication and insist he holds still when he's about
2in inside you. You may well get a burning sensation, but if
he doesn't move for a while, this will lessen. If it's really
horrible, tell him to forget it. If you can cope, you need to
control the movement. He can't just start thrusting. Once he's
in, he should stay in or you'll have to go through the pain
again. The rectum is curved, unlike the vagina, so position
is key (from behind is best). He must use a condom and, if you
feel pain, withdraw slowly, right away. It's an acquired taste:
some hate it, some love it. Don't try it if you've been drinking
or taking drugs.
WHAT
IS THE PROSTATE GLAND, AND CAN IT HELP MEN TO ORGASM QUICKLY?
It's a small, soft organ about 3in inside his anus, on the front
wall behind the navel. For most men, massaging or stroking it
intensifies orgasm, especially combined with penetration or
masturbation. First, lubricate your fingers and massage the
rim of his anus to relax him. To find the gland, insert
your finger into his anus and press towards
the front of the body. Gently rub your finger over the
gland, or pulse your finger (pressing it may just make him want
to urinate). As he comes to orgasm, his sphincter contracts
around your finger and the gland swells as seminal fluid flows
into his prostate. On orgasm, it contracts and empties,
and semen shoots from his penis. To use external pressure,
massage the perineum muscle (between his penis and anus), which
is full of sensitive nerve endings.
'.
HOW DO I CHOOSE A SEX TOY AND WHERE
CAN I GET PORNOGRAPHY MADE FOR WOMEN BY WOMEN?
Dildos and vibrators are designed mainly for penetration
(vaginal and anal), but can be used for external stimulation
(eg clitoral, anal, nipples). Masturbating by hand can be tiring,
and vibrators are an easier way of reaching orgasm. At Sh!,
the women's erotic store in London, one of the top sellers is
the Jessica Rabbit, as seen on Sex and the City. It
vibrates and
rotates, giving a feeling of fullness and clitoral
stimulation.
MY
BOYFRIEND'S PENIS FEELS SMALL INSIDE ME. WHAT
CAN I DO?
According to the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex,
Gender and Reproduction, the average erect penis is 6in, with
a circumference of 5in. The vagina is 3in long and when
relaxed, shaped like a flat tube. Put a finger inside, and you'll
feel the walls wrap around. It expands and contracts, adjusting
to fit anything from a finger to a baby. It may expand more
when you're aroused, making his penis feel small. Increase your
vaginal strength by exercising your pelvic floor muscles.
To find them, stop yourself mid-flow when you're having a pee, contract
them for a few seconds, then release. Build up to holding for
longer periods each time.
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